Conversing With Fellow Travelers

“How are you doing, babe? I know that I haven’t asked in a while.” were Miss Moneypenny’s words to me a few nights ago.

I responded simply “I’m doing okay but that drive home was a little different but luckily I didn’t have to go straight home.”[i]

For those of you who don’t know, my mom passed away from metastasized breast cancer back in November. (The phrase “life-altering experience” isn’t nearly descriptive enough to describe the entire situation.)[ii] Moneypenny, along with my friends have done an excellent job of checking on my moods and how I’m doing in the aftermath of everything. Those who have checked on me the most are in a sense fellow travelers on the road that I’m on.

Conversing with a fellow traveler is a hell of a thing in the wake of a loss. People often assume that they are an island, which is so damn laughable but to tell the truth your losses and situation are probably really damn similar to the next guy’s. Sometimes, just sometimes that next guy’s view on a situation may be a key piece to a puzzle you’re trying to solve.

So when Moneypenny asked what was what the other night I answered truthfully. I said what was on my mind. Said my peace if you will. She knows where I’m at right now and she’s been invaluable in navigating what I thought would be a hard road. (It’s really damn hard.)

In my quest to overhaul some of what’s in my head I had to acknowledge that I’m a rather stubborn ass-hat of a man sometimes. One of my foibles was that even though I have a strong circle of friends, I sometimes refused to ask for help. Valuable help that would possibly ameliorate my situation before it caused me unwanted stress.

Five years ago I wouldn’t have listened to a damn thing Moneypenny or any other fellow traveler would have said to me. I operated under a strictly “My f**king problem, my f**king solution”. If my mom would have passed five years ago I would be an absolute mess right now. (No Hamilton)

The entire point of this poorly written post is that I’ve realized that talks with fellow travelers come from time to time. Talk to them. You may learn something that will help out with what’s ahead.[iii] Think of their words as the equivalent of cars in oncoming traffic flashing their headlights to warn you that Jake is on the prowl. It’s those little gestures and kind moments that make the difference when you’re down on your ass.

So from me, the Mason jar that I’m holding, the Sky vodka, the BI-LO brand tonic water, and these lime wedges I’d like to thank Miss Moneypenny and all of the other fellow travelers. You’re appreciated. When you get a chance thank yours.

Vaya con Dios.

Tune in next time for: Michelle’s bangs… yeah or I’m Offended that you think I should be offended.

[i] I occasionally travel back home for my job- Friday afternoon as one such occasion. That dead boar in the road kind of took my mind off of things too.

[ii] Fcuk you cancer, you’re dirty syphilitic whore.

[iii] Be careful with that left turn in Albuquerque. Also be careful on which exit you take off of the bridge in Savannah. Those dudes down there are trying to eat.


10 responses to “Conversing With Fellow Travelers

  1. wow. honest but powerful post. thanks for sharing. and im glad you have ppl in your life who feel comfortable to ask you how you are doing (without it being generic or just out of courtesy) because they truly care about the answer. and im glad you are at a place in your life where you can trust others to respond genuinely.

    i can only imagine the toll this great loss has had on you, coupled with your on going fight with your MH. i pray you have peace and comfort through it all. and i look forward to continuing to see you writing, tweeting, and contributing to insightful discussions. and of course eagerly awaiting that book 🙂


    • That’s Gem! The team has stood tall by me big time. On my part is was def a growth thing because like I said I would have been an asshole if the kind words were offered and I meh’d all over them.

      I’m moving forward in all capacities but this day-light savings sh*t is killing me and my creativity.

  2. Asking for help and letting others into your pain is difficult sometimes. I hate it. I’m glad you’ve, if not completely, at least partially made progress on that front. The comfort and words of others can be so clutch, especially when you don’t want it or feel like you shouldn’t need it.

  3. The Only Real Outcast

    Good read! Makes me want to do better about checking on folks.

  4. i LOVE that you called them travelers.
    this was an awesomeness post.
    *bosomy hugs*

  5. Totally missed this post the other day. Can definitely say I’m guilty of both, not checking in on folks as i should, and not let letting folks check in on me.
    Continuing to keep you lifted up on the loss of your Mom. It is definitely a hard road you’re traveling. It’s like an admission to an exclusive club that nobody asked for an invitation to.
    Hang in.

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