Well, after the recent debt ceiling debacle it’s clear that America (The populous) is not doing so well. The freaks who we elected to govern found it necessary to screw us without any dinner. A proposed debt ceiling deal is floating out there and from what I can tell we the people got hosed. Barack, Soul Brother Number 1 and Congress (both Republican and Democratic) were about as useful as the French Army against the professional group of nut jobs that is the Tea Party who want to party like it’s 1872. (My sister Gina brought up a good point last night. She said if we lived like the Tea Baggers wanted us to the country would burn down like a Tennessee meth lab.)
From what I can tell the debt ceiling deal cuts spending but has no revenue coming in. (And by revenue I mean taxes.) Since there is no revenue coming in I’ve come to the conclusion that America (By “America” I mean the government or Uncle Sam) needs a second job. According to the C.I.A World Factbook there are 313,232,044 American citizens. The nation has bills. We owe people. We drive on roads that need to be repaired. Many depend on the government for Social Security and healthcare. Truth is there has to be money coming in to Uncle Sam’s pocket so he pay out to those who need to be paid. Once again America needs a second job that it can do from six to eleven a few nights a week and maybe catch a few double shifts on the weekend.
Here are my suggestions for America’s side hustle:
- Weed – Sell that sh*t. Sell lots of it. Use it to fund everything imaginable. I only foresee one problem with America selling weed: America will just smoke the product and get lazy. Big Worm won’t like that.
- Pizza Delivery– America it’s football season and people are going to order tons of pizza so get your a** in gear, head over to Papa Johns, fill out that application, and get those tips. Look Uncle Sam just flip all of those tips into revenue.
- Real Estate– Rent Israel out as a time share. I don’t care if you have to lie to the renters and say it’s a good neighborhood but get it done.
- Cutco Knives/Wellness Products—At this point America isn’t better than a pyramid scheme. If America needs to sell steak knives or Body Magic to balance the books then do so. All you have to do is buy in and rent a conference room at the Airport Radisson and soon your money woes will be over.
- Shade tree mechanic work— Uncle Sam just roll up you sleeves and fix Miss Anne Mae’s alternator. The next night work on your neighbor’s brakes. Print some business cards to hand out and charge their a**es for the labor. As soon as the news of your mechanical prowess gets around the neighborhood then you’ll have a steady side hustle.
Anyone have any other suggestions for jobs that America can take on so that it’s a** can continue to function? Don’t suggest Avon or Amway because everyone sells that stuff. Outside of prostitution chime in with your ideas to but Uncle Sam to work.
Vaya con dios.