Sex Bob-Omb- Garbage Truck
Aight so I’m back on my comic book ish. I’m a month in a half behind so I’m going to try to be pretty concise. (I said I’ll try to be concise.) I make mine Marvel on the regular so that’s what I’mma gonna cover. Thanks to the folks at the public library I got put onto Y: The Last Man (A DC/Vertigo Book) and you’ll get a full review of my thoughts about the complete series that ran during the early 2000’s when I finish reading all of it.
We’ve got a ton of comic book themed movies that are in and are headed to your local theaters and I’m already behind on those too. I still have not seen Thor and there’s an X-Men movie that came out yesterday that I’m kind of meh about. Captain America and The Green Lantern are also due out so it’s a summer full of cinematic nerdgasms. Although I never even hear about the comic until the movie came out last year, I’ve been watching Scott Pilgrim vs. the World when I see it on HBO, which has been a lot lately and it was surprisingly funny.
Any how I’m going to combine a few comics to make this go smoothly.
X-23 # 10 and X-23 # 11
At the end of X-23 # 9 23 and Gambit left Madripoor behind and head to the City of Lights, Paris to find out why someone thinks starting the Weapon X program again is a good thing. An odd pair, 23 and Gambit naturally feel at home in France: She’s an emo teenager and he’s a sleazy Cajun womanizer.
We find 23 and Gambit at a café where the young Ms. Kinney starts cutting herself in the restroom leaving the ladies water closet a bloody mess. Gambit overhears a waiter telling the café manager that someone tried to commit suicide in the John and looks to his teenaged cohort who immediately storms off to be what she really is a traumatized little killing machine and a sixteen year old.
When the raging Cajun finds 23 she mistakenly stabs him but he manages to calm her down and takes her back to their safe house. After he manages to stop bleeding he gives Logan a call to inform him of 23’s return to cutting herself. 23 goes fetal and falls asleep while Gambit tries to read her a bed time story. (Yeah, I’m shocked that Gambit can read too. The jury’s still out on Rogue’s literacy.) In another emo teenager move 23 tries to sneak out of the apartment only to meet by Logan and Jubilee who she immediately attacks because as Bill Compton would say “She’s a vampire!”
Teenaged girl beef ensues and Gambit and Logan talk while the two little super powered killing machines go out to see the Eiffel Tower and the other sites in Paris. (Seriously, the idea of letting girl Wolverine, and Jubilee the good vampire stroll around Paris unattended is even a sh*tty parenting job for an X-Man. Scott Summers knows better than that. Liam Neeson knew it too.) Gambit asks Logan why he treats each of the girls differently. He coddles Jubilee, who had a normal childhood until about the age of 14 when she joined mutants are us while he treats X-23, his genetically engineered clone like those midgets on Animal Planet treats Mike Vicks old pit bulls. He puts up a brief argument but later concedes Gambits point.
While the grown folks talked Jubilee defended her play sister at the Eiffel Tower when a group of French dudes try to get all handsy with her. 23 then pops one of her claws causing Jubilee to ask “Are you gonna cut me?” but then witnesses X-23 cut her own neck causing Jubilee to act like Pookie from New Jack City but she refuses to bite her quasi sister but she does taste her blood seeing X-23’s memories of being used as a killer against her will. After asking 23 if she wanted her to kill her or if the neck smorgasbord was some kind of a test, Jubilee explains to 23 how it feels to be viewed as some kind of a monster by the people who are supposed to be your family and friends.
The mutant tinged “Waiting to Exhale” moments continue the next day when they go shopping. In a store Laura Kinney deals with never having worn a dress or white clothing and Jubilee deals with not having a reflection asking X-23 “Tell me I’m real?” X-23 then replied “You are real. I find that mirrors often lie.” At that point all we needed was Storm and Kitty Pryde to show up to complete the foursome, have a good cry, and eat cheese cake while Mary J. Blige plays in the background.
Of course the fun ends because it always does with the X-Men. They find who has the Weapon’s program and X-23’s trigger scent which sends her into a blood thirsty rage. X-23 asks Jubilee to kill her if she smells the scent because she knows that Logan and Gambit won’t. Unfortunately she smells in the middle of a Parisian subway station where Jubilee is forced to stop X-23 from slaughtering everybody in sight.
Marjorie Liu’s first 11 issues have been great and the last arc is better than the first two. Liu’s writing brings back a family feel that was once common in X-books before it was doom and gloom every issue. We know Laura cuts herself out of depression but does she really want to die? Will Jubilee kill her? Will these two actually end of up as friends? Logan and Gambit both look like the smell but do they smell more than normal Parisians?
Hopefully these questions will be answered soon.
Fear Itself # 2 and Fear Itself # 3, Spider-Man: Fear Itself # 1, Secret Avengers # 13
After the events of the first issue of Fear Itself Steve Rogers, the former Captain America and currently Barack Obama’s head super hero in charge begin to start letting all of the various Avengers teams know that they needed to assemble because something bad was happening on a global scale. Riots and acts of hatred are happening but the only “good” guy who knows what’s going on is All Father Odin who has ordered all of the Asgardians to leave Earth. After throwing Thor in the hoosegow, the rest of the Asgardians find themselves wondering what in the hell is going on.
Thor gets sprung buy Loki who along with the Warriors Three and Thor’s old lady, Sif are planning to head back to Earth to find out what exactly is going on. They question Odin about the nature of the Serpent, and Skadi’s (The Red Skull’s daughter Sin) plans. The find out that Odin is prepared to destroy Earth to protect Asgard but Thor protests and his pa sends him back to Earth to meet his faith while throwing his hammer Mjolnir through the portal behind him telling him “Here you’ll need this.”
In New York Spider-Man saves an Iranian-American cab driver (An Iranian Cab driver in NY?!?! That’s not stereotypical at all Marvel Comics.) From a fear-induced racist mob. After saving the cabbie Spidey tries to call Aunt May to check on the old bird but can’t get through. Spider-Man has a small freak out session and asks the cabbie why he’s so calm? The cabbie tells Spider-Man that his life as a brown and Muslim person in America has allowed him to stay calm when things get bad. (Message!) On the way home he manages to stop the CEO from Roxxon Oil from killing himself. Before he can link up with his teammates from the Fantastic Four or the Avengers Peter Parker get’s ambushed in an alley by rats at the behest of the villain Vermin.
Around the globe Skadi’s hammers keep falling. The hammers much like Thor’s, can only be picked up by those who are worthy and in this case being worthy ain’t a good thing. So far five hammers have fallen and they’ve been retrieved by hero and villain alike. They’ve been picked up by the Hulk who has the presence of mind to tell his wife Betty (Red She Hulk) to run before he starts smashing. Another falls near the Juggernaut. Grey Gargoyle, Titania, Crusher Creel the Absorbing Man, and Attuma each find hammers. Things don’t go south for real until Ben Grimm, the Thing picks up a hammer in Brooklyn, turning one of Marvel’s consummate good guys bad.
The only good news in all of this is that a team of Avengers show up to fend off the Hulk in Brazil, another team lead by Beast and Don Cheadle show up to defend D.C. with a little help from Abe Lincoln’s statue, and the current Captain America, Bucky goes on the offensive with the help of the Black Widow and the Falcon only to get his a** beat. I’m not sure if Bucky is dead or not but he’s definitely not well.
The bad news is that there are more hammers due to fall. Rumors have Storm, Colossus, and some other classic good guys being members of Skadi’s worthy. As disasters in the Marvel Universe go this is bad. However, only 2/3 of the super hero alert system have been contacted (The Avengers/FF). Usually if the government has to contact the X-Men then things must really suck.
With Fear Itself and the 800 hundred off shoot books things look good so far. So much for that Heroic Age that Marvel promoted. It looks like the bad guys are gonna win. It seems the bad old times in the 616 have returned.
Vaya con Dios.