Yesterday, what I think was an important revelation was glossed over due to the release of study by Satoshi Kanazawa which is based in pseudo/crap/racist/black women ain’t feeling me science in Psychology Today telling the world that black women are viewed as the least attractive group of women on the globe.[i] The important revelation was that CNN anchor and Tom Dubois’ stunt double, Don Lemon came out of the closet publically. (From what he’s said his coworkers at CNN has known about his sexuality for years now.) This is Lemon’s second shocking announcement of note. In September, during Bishop “Eddie, Eddie Bang, Bang” Long’s molestation scandal Lemon announced on-air that he was sexually molested as a youth.
I would imagine that a grown man to admitting to being molested publically on a national news network had to have been an extremely hard undertaking but revealing that he, a black man, is gay just flat out took stones. It took stones simply because our community [blacks] has an interesting outlook on homosexuality. I will not claim that American born blacks are anymore homophobic than any other demographic but it has been well documented that being black and gay puts one in an odd space. It wasn’t easy for Omar Little and it certainly can’t be easy for Don Lemon.
As an observer I would compare being a gay black man is akin to being on a show that ends with the word “Housewives” and having self-esteem and home training. The knowledge of what you are could possibly make your life a living hell due to the reactions of those around you. Perceived notions of what black male masculinity is or isn’t has done quite the number on us.[ii]
It has kept us from seeking proper medical attention whether it’s physical or mental. These notions have left many of us are emotionally stunted, straining our relationships with the women we love from time to time and often failing to teach our next generation or black men how to emote the right way, if at all. Lastly, these notions force many of us to overcompensate with what we again perceive to be strength. Not allowing for anything that we think is a weakness or chink in our armor to be seen by the outside world. Within this entire massive hair ball that is black masculinity, many of us feel that there is very little room for what is seen as the ultimate weakness; homosexuality.
This is why I think Lemon’s admission took a ton of courage. If he’s forty-five, imagine how long he’s been dealing with that aspect of himself. Somewhere there is a black guy who is closeted that read about Lemon’s admission and said to himself in the voice of the waiter from the Boondocks “Couldn’t be me!”
Lemon’s life is out in the open now but he has said that he is not ready to be any kind of an icon. He’s probably listening to “Can I Live” by Jay-Z preparing to run the media and social gauntlet that comes along with his book tour and announcement. Just like James Baldwin and Langston Hughes before him Don Lemon is a famous black gay guy. Unlike Baldwin and Hughes, Lemon lives and works in a 24-hour news world that sometimes seems to exist only to ruin lives. Lightnin’ Hopkins once said “Whatever you is, be that!” Don Lemon took steps to live up to that saying, so whether you agree or disagree with Lemon’s lifestyle you’ve got to admit it took a lot of bravery to tell the world about it.
Vaya con Dios.
[i] We know that premise is bullsh*t-a** at best so this is the last time I will move my fingers to write about it. It wasn’t worth a post or more than one thought. I could spend the rest of my life blogging about fly black women are and what makes them that way, but I don’t pretend to be a writer to tell the world that water is wet.
[ii] One day I’m going to write a parody of “Journey to The Center of Earth” called “Journey into the Black Male Mind”. It’s going to be a horror movie starring Clarence Williams III, David Alan Grier, and Clifton Powell.
Up Here on Cloud 9 
Bravo! I know he feels so much relief and so much anxiety both at the same time, for the very reasons you wrote in this blog! I will simply say well written and so true. Once again, Bra- freakin- Vo! 😉
Thanks! I wonder when he was writing his book how many times he contemplated taking the admission out of it. The fact that he is of some fame probably made the decision harder too due to the drive for ratings and what not. I wonder how long his family has known?
Admitting. Everyday aspects of your personal life can be anxiety inducing enough. Hell, admitting I was depressed took me about three, four months so I can only imagine Lemon’s struggles Sweets.
Interesting. Someone was just asking me (minutes ago) if I heard that Don Lemon from CNN was gay. I said “Lemon who”. And then I caught on and realized, “oh, you talking about the guy with the dry face?” I know I am wrong, but it just looks like he lacks moisture!
Anywho, Black males have too many unnecessary requirements expected of them here in the US. I was so much more relaxed when I could speak a sentence without thinking the reference “no homo” halfway between. Or just drinking a martini in the glass that the drink was intended to be in. It’s just tiring trying to be tough. And these young guys are growing up thinking that this is the only way to be…to live on edge. I am not speaking to the promotion of a person coming out..which that is their choice. I am talking about he macho attitude that we have to keep up around here.
My battery is going dead on my computer, so I will continue with this tomorrow.
Yes, we [black men] have some jacked up standards or ideas that we have to deal with. The bulk of them are just unimportant when it comes to life. These young cats have some interesting views on things… It’s Rick Ross’ fault.
I specifically didn’t use “No homo” in this post. I was trying to show some f**king class and “no homo” in this case would just be a lay-up. What else would you drink a martini out of? Anything else would just be weird.
Maybe I should not have called him dry face. It may be the TV makeup.
TV make up my a**, “Dry face” is just another display of your light-skinned hatred. Do better man!
ya know, at first when i heard this i thought “oh. isn’t that interesting? i thought that was obvious. is this even news?” and shrugged it off and moved on about my day.
but i guess i take for granted that coming out — esp media personalities who are black — is actually a big deal. my bestest friend in the whole wide word is gay, and i still remember the day she came out to me like it was yesterday. i remember the hesitancy in her voice as she told me her news over the phone. now, this was indeed news to me because i had NO idea. but i tried to make things as normal as possible. because really nothing was different. she was still my bestie id known my entire life and her sexual orientation wouldnt change that. my way of showing her i accepted her for who she is was to continue as if i had always known she were gay.
and so ive kind of become indifferent to news about ppl coming out as being gay. because really, what does that revelation change? but in this society, that is still very intolerant and RUDE, its a big deal. esp when you’re doing it on a public/national stage. he likely wont be accepted by many but im sure he’s also received lots of support. i for one am glad he is free of that burden that im sure rested on his shoulders all these years.
ALL that to say, good post and im glad you can express your appreciation for Don’s honesty and courage.
For some this type of admission is nothing big. If you really are someone’s friend the news of their orientation shouldn’t change anything between y’all. (Or at least I think so.) I guessing your homie appreciated your standing by her too.
I saw Cornell West on Bill Maher’s show awhile back and he brought up a statistic about the suicide rate among black teenage boys. Who had no outlet to express how they felt. Lemon carried that around for a long time so there has to be some relief for him now. He probably couldn’t have pulled this off five years ago.
yeah, black teen male suicide is no joke. black teen PERIOD is no joke. so you’re right–in many respects it IS a big deal to be comfortable in yourself to come out and be freed of the unknown worries that can be bottled up inside and cause harm to self.
Man, I don’t have hatred feeling towards my light-skinned brothers and sisters. I have many light skinned friends!
“I have many light skinned friends!”
Really?!?!
You know I did that for shock value.
I know. Some of my best friends are black!
Right on brothuh!
It does have to take some pretty big cajones to be a black male in the spotlight (less so than most celebrities, but still) and come out of the closet. I applaud him.
That said, I sincerely hope that his first shocking announcement doesn’t leave room for people to use that as the “reason” he is gay. I can hear it now, “he’s not gay, he was just confused by being touched as a kid and that’s nothing a little scared straight couldn’t handle”. *rolls eyes*
You know Sane, I didn’t consider that people would say that was the reason. I wonder if that addressed in the book.
I enjoyed this read. Just wanted to tell you that.
Thanks redlady821! I appreciate the props.