I scheduled this post to go live at 4:30 am for specific reason. That time designates almost to the exact second the 150 year anniversary of the beginning of the American Civil War, which can only be described a series of unfortunate events with a few rays of sunshine. As many of you may know I live in Charleston, SC where the entire mess got started. To this day there is no more contentious issue within the old South. Northerners to their credit got over it and moved on.
After the events at Appomattox Courthouse there have been literally millions of reasons for the given for the causation of the war. There are a million more half-truths, myths, and various wild stories that are repeated over and over every time the Late Unpleasantness is mentioned. I’ve stated before that I’m not enamored with the Civil War because of the fact that it is inherently uncivil. It is one black mark out of many on United States’ rap sheet.
So I’m going drop a few interesting and poignant facts about the Civil War. Many will be as unpleasant as the war was.
- The Civil War is often said to have been about “States rights”. It sure was. A state’s right to possess chattel as a labor force via a weak, immoral 10th Amendment argument. If had to fill out a survey asking you to list Ten things that caused the war was about you better list “slavery” at least eight times.
- The North did fight to end slavery and maintain the union but don’t fool yourself, racism among Northerners and Northern Soldiers existed. Many men donning blue could have cared less about slavery, the plight of blacks, and were in fact draftees doing a job. On the other hand many of their opponents had no dog in the slavery fight. Barn-burning Bill T. Sherman at times possess borderline white supremacist views. He was noted for stating his views against Negro-equality on several occasions.
- Everyone has heard at least one black person say “We’ve never received our 40 acres and a mule.” There’s a good reason for that. Special Field Order No. 15 was issued by my aforementioned favorite pyromaniac general. It granted close to 10, 000 emancipated slaves close to 400, 000 acres of arable land in South Carolina and Georgia. Special Field Order No. 15 would be reversed by President Andrew Johnson. Special Field Order No. 15 was considered battlefield or wartime policy of the Army and never an official policy of the civilian government.
- Who constantly celebrates getting their a**es kicked? Seriously?
- Robert Smalls’ legacy should be a much bigger deal in the canon of American history than it currently is. Who steals a naval vessel and then runs for Congress? Robert Smalls definitely pulled some Danny Ocean type moves when he absconded with the Planter.
- Events like the Battle of Fort Pillow and the ensuing massacre by the likes of Nathan Forrest only illustrates the level of dehumanizing hatred that can be associated with race and the Civil War.
- If I could go back in time and observe this mess, I would ask various Native Americans what they thought about the situation. An American Civil War with hardly any participation from the original Americans seems foolish. It must have been akin to watching two groups of your a-hole neighbors arguing, knowing as soon as that argument ends they’ll start an argument with you.
- As big of history nerd as I am I still don’t understand these freaks. They are worse than Trekkies. I used to live with a Trekkie so I would know. Most people don’t reenact righteous moments in history so why the Battle of Chickamauga Swamp?
- Although I abhor every idea they fought for the Confederate Army was kind of good. They held off a larger, better equipped enemy for a long time.
- Any civil conflict where over 600,000 able-bodied men die or results in half of the nations infrastructure collapsing is not to be celebrated. There weren’t very many saints on either side of the conflict but I understand the purpose of the conflict. (I’ve heard picking cotton without the aid of John Deere sucks.) Emancipation is one of a small handful of events that marked turning points in American history.
So that’s my spiel. I just hope number eight doesn’t happen cause I don’t have the bail money right now. Give me your thoughts about it if you have any and please keep it civil won’t you?
Vaya don Dios.
 “The Late Unpleasantness” is a euphemism for recent wars but it is most often used to describe the Civil War. I’m guessing some learned, snooty, dandy from Charleston or Richmond thought he was being clever at a garden party one day.
 Nathan Forrest is many things. A brilliant cavalry officer, a slave trader, an alleged war criminal, and a domestic terrorist. For those of you who don’t know who he is, he is the guy in Forrest Gump whom Forrest says he was named after.
 If I don’t respond to any comments tomorrow (If there are any.), I’ve probably gone off on some fat dude dressed like a Confederate private and his fat, hoop skirt wearing wife because the just looked at me funny.