In my mind I’m. . . (The Delusional Negro Blog)

In reality I am a lot of things. I’m a man. I’m a know it all. I’m a cynic. I’m fiercely loyal to my friends. I’m a contrarian. I’m introvert. I’m a comic book nerd. I’m a hip-hop head. I’m an information junkie. I’m below average at math. I like chicken in various forms. I like cold jams. I like explosions and guns. For some strange reason I like watching Sunday morning TV. I’ll stop here because this could get a little lengthy.

****This is going to make sense in a few sentences, trust me. ****

So the other day I was talking to my friend O and I don’t remember what specific part of our conversation was about but one of us made the comment about what we think we are in our own minds. I then started singing the chorus of Ray Cash’s “Sex Appeal (I’m a Pimp in My Own Mind) and we both laughed. This made me think about how people perceive themselves between their own ears.

Now this self perception can be based in some forms of the truth. It can be downright hilarious. Sometimes it can just be delusional which usually means more hilarity. (SEE Palin, Sarah) The way nominally sane people think is often contradictory to how they act or how the world see’s them. Sometimes this self perception slips out as personality quirks that make us love or hate people too.

So without any more useless attempts at witty prose here what I think I am in my mind:

In my mind I’m… kind of schizo (No I’m not implying I’m schizophrenic but I’m all over the place.) My brain is like a flat screen television with every package that Direct TV offers.

In my mind I… fancy myself to be quite the bad m****r****er.  Like for realz. That’s right kids upstairs old Wu is kind of ninja. I have nothing in reality to base this on but this is my story so let me tell it!

In my mind… this plays in my head when I walk down the street…

In my mind I’m…the best freakin’ cook in the world. In the real world I don’t think I’m that shabby but this is a stretch. Miss Moneypenny’s mac & cheese is vastly superior to mine. She knows this and has not rubbed any salt into the wound.

In my mind I’m… some kind of a superhero. More Luke Cage than Superman. I always get the win. (We all know that in real life people seldom win all of the time. Unless you’re Bill Belichick and you cheat.

In my mind… my entry into a room is signified by a brief yet substantial gust of wind because I’m some kind of a superhero… and a ninja.

In my mind I’m… the best writer in the world!!! I’m talking about making Norman Mailer look like Tyler Perry.

In my mind I’m…kind of an a**hole. I have no idea if that’s how I’m viewed but sometimes that’s just how I think things are.

In my mind I’m… awesome. (I’m the bee’s knees n****a.)

In my mind I’m… not nearly as neurotic as I am in real life.

So those are few ways that I view or think about myself upstairs. Everybody does this right? In the words of Leonard Washington, “Yes, I’m crazy and if you tell anyone I’ll f***ing kill you.” In what ways are y’all a little off upstairs? Don’t let me sit here and think I’m the freak. So share your delusions and share a like. Wu won’t tell.

****I reserve the right to add more things to this list.****

Vaya con Dios.

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4 responses to “In my mind I’m. . . (The Delusional Negro Blog)

  1. The Only Real Outcast

    In my mind…I’m the 5th Horseman
    …except when they already had 5, then I’d be the 6th Horseman.

  2. The song that plays in my head when I am getting dressed, for something worth getting dress for, is ‘Bad Mutha’ by CeeLo Green. And Kanye West’s ‘Power’ plays when I walk. It’s all motivational.

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