She said she likes my Dougie and a few other things that I don’t get.

You won't be so brand spanking new after Mr. Dink get's done with you.


Sometimes I can be rather dense. I’m a little slow on the up take if you will, but there are times when I come across things that are genuine jaw droppers. These are things I think about often but never get any inner clarity on. Here’s a short list of things I need some assistance on.   

She Said She Likes my Dougie     

I honestly don’t know what this means. I’ve seen the video a few times and still don’t get what the hell these kids are talking about. I do know that East Indians seem to like to “Dougie”.    


The New York Jets   

I’m tired of them, there coach, Fireman Ed, their little TV show, and their cornerback. Make the playoffs without the Colts sitting their good players and I’ll be impressed. I don’t why the world considers the Jets worth talking about but impress me but actually being a good team for more than one season. Lastly, I’m glad the Ravens kind of made them look silly. Now there.    

The arrogance of Clemson Tiger fans.    

Yes, you’re a “football school”. Yes, y’all are most definitely better than South Carolina on most days of the year, but in way do y’all consider yourselves a national powerhouse? You can barely control most of the pansies that you play in the ACC and yet you think you matter in the grand scheme of the college football world? ‘Fraid not. True you have one national championship from 1981 but that doesn’t make you contenders. It just makes you Georgia.    

The hope of South Carolina fans.    

From year to year watching the South Carolina football team play is like watching a fat dude with a piss-poor attitude and a bad heart run laps at the gym. Big boy will stay focused for about two laps at a time then he’ll get frustrated and start to look for something else to do at the gym that will hopefully involve sitting, and a hotdog stand. Then he’ll utter the words “I’ll get better next year.”    

Andrew Zimmerman’s need to eat everything placed in front of him.    

Seriously dude is just nasty. This is coming from someone who grew up on a small farm in South Carolina. I have dined on both squirrel and liver pudding and enjoyed them both. (Separately of course. Together is just fucked up.) It’s nothing to see Zimmerman eating rabbit penis with scrambled-eggs, and some monkey nuts in a remote village in Vietnam’s Central Highlands and LOVING IT!    

“May I take your order Mr. Zimmerman?”    

“Yes, I’ll have the donkey anus with a nice Chianti!”    

Nasty f**k! Who eats monkey eyes!?!?    

Speaking of food. Why are the wings at Chinese take out places bigger than wings in other locales?    

These freaking things are usually massive. Is this chicken at all or some king of large woodpecker or pheasant? They are usually good and a little greasy but I never figured this out. And I told you not to put any eggs in my fried rice too!    

What don’t y’all get? There are some things that are head scratchers for everyone so post them and we’ll help each other.    

Vaya con Dios.


2 responses to “She said she likes my Dougie and a few other things that I don’t get.

  1. Yes we South Carolina fans do have HOPE and I myself will have HOPE until my last day on this here thing we call EARTH.

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