Dear Alvin Greene

Dear Alvin Greene, 

As a member of The Legion of Those Who Are Darker-Hued I am asking you to stop doing whatever it is that you do. Namely, your senatorial campaign and your public life. 

You literally popped out of now where in June to win the nomination for South Carolina’s Democratic senatorial ticket. After the shock of your nomination, your numerous attempts at public speaking, and your overall suckitude I got over you. 

On August 13th you were indicted on a felony charge for showing porn to a co-ed at USC in Columbia. This too didn’t bother me because I knew it was coming and hell I actually chuckled a little. 

Unfortunately, this morning I get to work and opened  that linked me to another story at and I see a story by Meg Kinnard at the Associated Press in Columbia detailing you and a female companion being kicked out of an Oconee County eatery because said female companion got into and altercation with several other customers at the restaurant. 

Alvin this is just said. It’s bad enough that you don’t have the acumen to run for a senate seat (Even in South Carolina). It’s also bad enough that you added another car to South Carolina’s long train of historic idiocy. Again It’s also bad enough that you are being charged with a felony for being pervert but now you go and have a n***er moment in a restaurant in Seneca, South Carolina of all places. 

Alvin please just go back to Manning and hang out with your people. Don’t worry about putting South Carolina back to work, worry about putting you back to work. I honestly think your talents would be wasted on Capitol Hill. Alvin I’m normally against people being selfish, but this time I implore you to go and be selfish and use that Herculean drive of yours and just do you. 

If the subtle approach doesn’t work here’s the another option: Alvin, don’t go away mad, just go away. 

Vaya con Dios 

Wu Young 

Chairman of The Legion of Those Who Are Darker-Hued


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