Despicable M.E.

Everyone and I mean every one has done things in our lives that we aren’t exactly proud of. I mean “I feel sorry for your mother.” type things. Now I’m not the worst person walking around, but your stalwart scribe has made his mistakes when it comes to living life and I’m going to clean out my closet a little today. #nomathers To protect the innocent and the guilty I’m going to list several of my transgressions against my fellow man and good tasted. Y’all have to figure out which ones are true because I’m generally full of it.

  1. I threw Gwen Stacy from that bridge and frame Norman Osborn for it. (#goteammj) To this day I still smirk when I drive across bridges.
  2. I once wore a black polo shirt and a pair of corduroy pants to work… in July… in Charleston, SC. Thank god for Gold Bond powder.
  3. I ask Asian people for their fish heads and rice recipes.
  4. I once kicked my best friend down some bleachers in high school. That’ll learn you.
  5. At night on the odd numbered weeks of the even numbered months I train a group of 30 homeless Mexicans to be my personal black-ops team.
  6. Once in church I actually prayed for church to end.
  7. I move things off of the desks of co-workers after hours just to see if they notice.
  8. Alvin Greene’s senatorial run ***points right index finger at chest*** All M.E.
  9. Jersey Shore (see number eight).
  10. I’ve actually committed grand theft auto before.
  11. I conspired to steal an Elmo doll that one of my co-workers bought for his kid. He kept playing with it and that damn laugh just bothers me. I also conspired to do an video where I was going to behead said Elmo doll. After that I was going to periodically mail pieces of Muppet fur to my co-worker.
  12. I contemplated shoving a broom stick into the wheels of the fat guy in my apartment complex’s Rascal.
  13. I told Tyler Perry to start writing movies.

Have fun picking out whats real and what’s bull.

Vaya con Dios.


6 responses to “Despicable M.E.

  1. ComicBookGuy

    2, 4, 6, 7, 10, 11, and 12 are true. 5 sounds like a hobby I need to take up because I live in Texas and I don’t think anyone in SC, let alone an intelligent brother like yourself, would ever claim #8. Let’s see how right I am.

    I met Mark Djurdjevic (the artist that drew that pic of Norman Osborn) a few years ago and he is a cool guy. He signed a copy of Daredevil that he drew the cover of. You ought to check out his posters that he has drawn for the Avengers, X-Men and Spider-Man. They are awesome.

    • @CBG,

      Well damm! You pretty much got me pegged on a few of those.

      I’m going to miss Norman as a bad guy. Norman was a much better baddie as himself than the Green Goblin. Putting him in charge was the beginning of comic Obama’s bad run. (Seriously, Barack, you gave Scott Summers the Presidential Medal of Freedom.)

      • ComicBookGuy

        I feel you wholeheartedly on that. Even though Spider-Man is probably my favorite character and my avatar, I haven’t read Spider-Man in a few years, probably since after Civil War. One More Day was a dumb idea and I was liking the fact that Aunt May finally knew he was Spider-Man and him and Mary Jane finally patched their marriage up. I pretty much have J. Michael Strazynski’s entire run on Spider-Man. Yeah, Obama giving Cyclops a medal was pretty weird. I might have to peep out that Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions game on PS3. Looks interesting.

        • @CBG

          JMS’ s run on Spidey was pretty good. I actually started reading comics again after about 13 years right after he and MJ got back together and moved into Stark Tower. The are actually “fixing” One More Day at the moment. I don’t know what Quesada was thinking. Turns out MJ still remembered their marriage all along, but Peter doesn’t. They showed her watcing TV in one issue and she see’s Spidey and remarks “Go get ’em Tiger.”

  2. ComicBookGuy

    Oh yeah, I know you were hurt yesterday with the passing of The Assassin Jack Tatum. Even though I am a Cowboys, I love the 70s Raiders and the guys that played on that team, especially that defensive back field. RIP Jack Tatum.

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