The Problem With Pugilism

The Commish

 

Here’s a random fact about your stalwart scribe: I like to see two grown men beat on each other for sport.  Why?       

***In Clive Owen’s voice as Larry from Closer*** Because I’m a f***ing Caveman!       

I like both Mixed Martial Arts and boxing but lately boxing has only disappointed me. I can’t remember the last good boxing match I saw and I honestly I think I owe Miss Moneypenny some money for buying the Mayweather/Mosely fight a while back. On the other hand I can turn on Spike TV almost any night of the week and see some solid MMA action without all of the bull crap that boxing puts me through.       

Once upon a time boxing’s heavyweight champion was one of the most famous and revered men on the planet. Names like Ali, Tyson, Marciano, Louis,  and Johnson dominated both sports and mainstream news headlines, but as of July 21st, 2010 your boy Wu could be one of the heavyweight champions of the world and no one could pick me out of a crowd. The heavyweight division, along with the rest of boxing itself has lost a step when it comes to holding sway over the masses. Mixed Martial Arts is slowly surpassing boxing as America’s combat sport of choice because good fights are accessible and worth Joe Public’s hard-earned money       

Don’t get me wrong there are great fighters out there, but they just don’t give the people what they want to see. Last week, the latest edition of the “fight of the century” was almost on again. Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao have been trying to get into the ring with each other for almost a year and nothing more than talk has happened.  The fighters been postponed because of reasons varying from disagreements over drug testing which, to promoters not liking each other, to all around b**cha**ness. This isn’t uncommon in boxing and I find the Mayweather/Pacquiao situation to be a glaring illustration of what’s wrong with boxing.       

So because you demanded it, your boy Wu will list steps that should be taken to fix boxing and give the public the violent spectacle they deserve.       

  1. Create one unified boxing promotion. There is no need for 80 belts for one weight class. One class, one title. Get rid of all of the WBOs, NABCs, IBFs, WBAs, and WBCs all have to go away. The fact there are up to four belts per class has denied the public decent fights and diluted the talent pool. (See the heavyweight division.)
  2. Make Dana White, or an understudy ff his to  head of this boxing organization. With a streamlined organization fighters as well as the Bob Aryums, and Don Kings will all have to follow a set group of guidelines. (I stole this idea from Stephen A. Smith.)
  3. No ducking opponents. If you are a champion you either fight the next contender and not a member of the bum of the month club. (Seriously, Floyd is ill and all but how come he never got into the  ring with Winky Wright or Vernon Forrest?)
  4. If you insist on charging $49.99 plus a pound of flesh for a pay-per-view please insure that the fights on the undercard are actually worth watching and not some fighter of note’s little brother. ***Looking at you Ricky Hatton and Miguel Cotto***
  5. If HBO keeps the contract for most of the big fight please get rid of the following people: Larry Marchant and Harold Lederman. Would I watch two drunk old men sit in a cocktail lounge and talk about boxing? Yes. Do I want to see them actually call a fight or a discuss a score card? Nah dunny.
  6. Spilt the heavyweight division. In boxing the heavyweight class is the only unlimited division. Ranging from 200 lbs to 1 ton the big men of boxing can come in all shapes and sizes. (Hell if I show my a** at  Chinese buffet a few nights in a row and then I would be a heavyweight. Big and Wu Young Agent of M.E will never be used in the same sentence.) So just have a heavyweight and a super heavyweight divisions so 200 pound men don’t have to fight something called a Butterbean.

Those are my ideas to improve the Sweet Science. I know these will never happen so I’m just blowing smoke, I really want to see good fights again. If you watch boxing or give a crap let me know what you think would help correct boxing’s ills. Vaya con Dios.

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4 responses to “The Problem With Pugilism

  1. ComicBookGuy

    My ni@@a. This is what I am talking about. #3 is really on point right now. People who are riding Mayweather’s jock right now are saying that Pacman tried to dodge the fight last year by not taking the drug test. The fact that the drug test was going to draw blood is a big deal. Floyd is just dodging the fight right now. I’m sorry but he is. He can fight Zab Judah or a washed up Sugar Shane Mosley and De La Hoya, but what about Winky or Vernon Forrest (RIP) or Felix Trinidad. Pacman wants to do it, now. Man up.

    It hurts me to watch boxing now when MMA is so much more exciting. I was into MMA in the lat 90s when the Gracies, Ken Shamrock and Dan Severn were all fighting. Even the lower weight divisions in MMA are good to watch and Brock Lesnar is making the heavyweight division worth watching now. I doubt it ever happens but might but I want to see GSP and Anderson Silva. GSP said that he does fight Spider and wins, he will retire from MMA. Good suggestions to straighten out boxing. Lennox Lewis said it best when he said the boxing is not popular anymore because there is no big name heavyweight in the game anymore. Sure Floyd is the best pound for pound out there, but the heavyweight division will always be the biggest boxing draw.

    • I will say that Floyd is nice as hell but I just realize that he hasn’t fought a lot of fighters that were out there during his run. I still think they’ll do it but Floyd is just generating hype. Pacman v Money will be a good fight.

      Those cats in the 90’s were just brutal in MMA. Silva, GSP, and their peers give the people what they want. The UFC works too because Dana White will send the talent to the corner if they don’t get with the program.

  2. I would have loved to add more insight to this obviously well-thought multi-part plan… but I just don’t get boxing… like AT ALL. And that’s one of those things I refuse to even try to understand… I just let my dad, the Boxing fanatic(who used to stay up late to watch fights – because of the time difference), be a f*cking caveman… and let it be.

    But I’m sure you’ll gain to push that plan to ESPN or somebody… 🙂

    • Hey Sula,

      Boxing is mos def an “acquired taste” so I understand why folks don’t like it. I’m heading down that road out of boredom. Besides everyone can’t be a f**king caveman.

      How big of a time difference?

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