Ain’t That News/Random Thoughts (Week of July 3, 2010)

It's not clever, just creepy.


I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadow, if I fail, if I succeed last week to start doing two weekly columns on Thursdays and Fridays. My plans are to drop a Random Thoughts post on Thursday and then an Ain’t News post with news stories on Fridays. I sucked this week so I’m doing a mash-up of sorts sans the crappy techno music.           

  1. For realz, just stop with the Shake Weight commercials. It doesn’t matter if it’s for men or women, it’ just weird. The only thing that could make it worse is the ShamWow guy Karinne Steffans. (And you know what I mean.)
  2. In light of the recent arrest of the super secret Russian agents I always assumed that countries spied on each other. Or did Ian Fleming  just lie to us for all those years? It’s kind of like Riley Freeman’s thoughts on hating. If someone isn’t spying on you then you’re doing something wrong.
  3. Lebron, just pick a damn team already so ESPN can stop trying to make the NBA seem interesting.
  4. Alvin Greene has a website. Democracy isn’t so great after all.
  5. Speaking of Ill Alvin Greene, which black man has set us back further, Alvin or Fleece Johnson (Who I am officially afraid of). (Not safe for work)
  6. DC comics legendary Wonder Woman is getting a make over. I just want Storm to rock the mohawk again.
  7. In the pantheon of the world’s greatest musical dope fiends where does Whitney Houston rank?
  8. Why exactly is Naomi Campbell testifying at Charles Taylor’s war crimes trial?

I casually watch Mixed Martial Arts mostly because watching someone get put in an arm bar makes me smile deep down in my soul. (Don’t look at me like that. It’s no worse than boxing.)  One of the biggest stars in MMA is Brock Lesnar, who many of you may or may not remember from his brief stint in the WWE as a wrassler. Brock Lesnar is also a real wrestler having been crowned the NCAA heavyweight Champion in 2000. (He was the runner-up in 1999.) Between stints in wrasslin’ Lesnar tried out for the Minnesota Vikings but did not have the acumen to succeed in pro football. Since his arrival in the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Brock Lesnar has defeated notable heavyweights like Frank Mir and Randy Couture to prove that he isn’t a joke trapped inside of a sideshow. Most commentators always comment (That is what they do right, comment?) on how mixed martial artists are more sound mentally than boxers after reading this article in the month’s GQ about Lesnar, I don’t know if I can co-sign that notion.   This dude ain’t right.      

By a show of hands class how many of you know anything about the Korean War that doesn’t involve Alan Alda or a Lebanese cross-dresser? *Looking around the room for a show of hands. Noting the lack therefore of.* I don’t really know many facts about it the war either besides Korea feels like hell in the summer and Antarctica in the winter, and it was America’s first official integrated war. Hell, I didn’t know the exact dates until last weekend when Turner Classic Movies did a Korean War movie marathon. I usually try stay up on stuff like that but I whiffed this time. I came across these two photo galleries on the Life Magazine site that show pictures of the conflict and the men who fought in it.      

The Supreme Court voted to overturn Chicago’s ban on fire arms this week although gun violence has been plaguing the Second City for the last couple of years. A few weekends ago there were 54 shooting over a three-day period with 10 people dying. Unconstitutional or not I’m thinking Chi-town has a gun problem. Check out this story from the New York Times.   

I hope everyone has safe and long weekend.  

Vaya con Dios.


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